I've been a stay at home mom with my twins since they were born. When they were babies our days revolved around their naps and feedings. When preschool rolled around, we opted for me to do pre-school activities with them at home and join a playgroup. It's just been me and them for the last 5 years.
Well, one week from today I will trade lazy mornings, Curious George, flexible schedules, and playgroups for KINDERGARTEN.
It's a strange feeling. I've known for years this day was coming, but it's imminent arrival is not getting any easier.
I find myself just CLINGING to the ordinary things I took for granted so much before. Waking up whenever we want--- followed by leisurely breakfasts, cartoons, and cuddles on the couch {in our jammies.} Getting to eat lunch with them and listening to them laugh and giggle about all the silly things kids think up while playing with their food. Listening to their little voices play and pretend. Spontaneous lunch outings, trips to Target with leisurely strolls down the toy aisle to check out the latest and greatest. Afternoon playdates with friends... dinners, quiet evenings with a favorite cartoon before bed, and the constant question, "mommy, what are we going to do
tomorrow??" Because every day was ours to do with it what we wanted.
{coloring is a favorite, constant activity}
It's not that we can't do any of those things once they are in school. We can. But it will be different. Our breakfasts together will be timely, followed by finding shoes, and backpacks--- making sure to get out the door in time. Their school time will be my time to get my business in. After school there may be homework to do (hopefully not in kindergarten), maybe a playdate but hopefully a lot of quality time together before dinner, baths, and bedtime hit again. A new transition, that's for sure!
{cuddles galore-- can I just freeze time?}
It's been such a blessing to be home with them each day the last 5 years. I haven't missed a beat, and although sometimes the days go sloooowwwww, the years have gone fast! I know school will be so amazing for them, and a natural part of growing up, but my mama heart is aching a little bit with the realization that once they go to school, our little world as I have known it for the last 5 years will be very different. Full of new firsts, excitements, field trips, friends, new skills learned, newfound independence, but also possibly hurt, and disappointment that I won't be able to protect them from any longer. THAT will be harder for mama then for them, I am sure.
And then there's this chair....
The one we got before the girls' were born. That rocked them and calmed them. That I spent MANY hours all through the night in. It's been moved to quite a few homes since then, and now we aren't quite sure what to do with it. We don't really use it, as the girls are too big to fit in it with us. It's got some stains, and pen on it. It's just kind of here. But yet I can't really bring myself to let it go. Because if I let it go, then I officially don't have babies anymore. It's the last remnant of that part of our lives. But like my two little monkeys heading off to school and leaving the nest a little bit, it may be good to pass this on to a new mama just bringing her baby into the nest. Just another transition I know I need to make but can't seem to.
Oh, and did you see that Daniel Tiger on PBS has a baby sister tiger now? And I totally cried! Even a kids show is focusing on big transitions. It's a sign I need to also-- but it's hard. For you veteran mama's out there who have already gone through this, what's your advice?
Next week expect a lot of pictures.... and probably another sappy post <3
